NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!

And other annoying, newsy sh!t.

IT'S MAY 1ST?!?

Oh fvck!

Rent's due.

Wait! It's May?!?

All those recurring monthly subscript...

shit, nevermind.

THEY can wait.

Graduation...summer break...

Crap!

A newsletter!

News!

Natalie's News!

I'm so sick of the word "news."

Mama, I want off this soon-to-be-de-funded News Train.

Like now.

Stop.

 You, too.

Take a fvcking breath.

Seriously.

Stop.

Play along with me for just a few more beats.

Where is your tongue right now?

For gits and shiggles, I'm gonna guess that it's pressed up against the roof of your mouth, tucked right about where the top ridge starts to slope down to the back of your pearly whites.

Unless you're a turkey like me who gets off on this kind of weird knowledge (HUSH!), you've no idea the gas pedal-like button you have in your mouth and the weight with which you press it with your lead-toe-boot of a gorgeous, muscular tongue.

Your tongue.

Ya, like something you CAN control.

Would you believe your tongue can help you control chaotic thoughts?

Ya, no shit.

So, after you've taken that first big, deep breath, take another.

And now take a third one just to make me smile 'cuz I know you need it and you know you need it and I'm building it right into my writinnnnnnnnngggggg...

And now...

Spend THIRTY dreamy, softened seconds with your mouth relaxed, your tongue resting, floating,

while you gently

peruse

the

rest

of

this

schmooz...

My "news," their "news"

False news, headline news

Did you hear the news? I have news...

Bah bah bahhhhhhhmmm...

That's new news to me!

Actually...

Fvck the "May Newsletter." I'll share more later.

Today, I genuinely want to know:

What news have you heard lately that makes you, beautiful human, feel good?

I love you, Natalie

P.S. Simply reply. I read every email, comment, and DM. Hop on my calendar anytime using this link.

P.P.S. I often get introduced to people with the opening line, "Oh my gosh, someone told me I needed to connect with you!" I love it. Feel free to forward this email to some wild, crazy human you think I need to meet, and let the universe take over from there...weeeeeeeeee!

P.P.P.S. In all seriousness—take care of you. Change is hitting hard and fast these days. Be gentle. Love on your people, your plants, your animal friends, your damn self. And when you find you're going too damn fast, pause. Take three deep breaths. In for 3–4, hold for 3–4, out for 3–4. Within 15 seconds, your nervous system can shift. It’s science, AND it’s sacred.P.P.P.P.S. Yes, it’s Post-Post-Post-Postscript. Here's the breakdown:

• P.S. = Postscript (Latin: post scriptum, “written after”)

• P.P.S. = Post-Postscript

• P.P.P.S. = Post-Post-Postscript

• And so on…

Nope, it's not P.S.S., P.S.S.S., or any stack of S's. That suggests “multiple scripts” instead of “more posts.” And that’s not how this chaos stacks.

Think of it like Russian nesting dolls made of tangents: each P is a new layer of delightful derailment. You've total permission to spiral with me—at least you’ll be grammatically aligned while you do.

P.P.P.P.P.S. May 1st is also May Day is also Beltane. Get curious. It's quite fascinating how we humans have celebrated this time of year through the ages and cultures of time.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Did I mention I love you?

Keyword phrase: No news is good news.

Body text: no news is good news