Tragic Backstory, Sober Rock Bottom -- WhoTF Cares?!?!

We are living in a palpable moment. A collective awakening. A time when you can feel the undercurrent of change—inside yourself and in the world.

How can I say this so matter-of-factly? My phone, chat, and email are full of evidence. My own body has been keeping a detailed score.

People want more.

More alignment.

More depth.

More truth.

But too many of us are still waiting for some grand permission slip—a tragedy, a rock-bottom moment, or a near-death experience—to justify personal transformation.

But, and if you know me, you know my sweet little Girl Scout personality is asking:

WhoTF cares?!?!

You don’t need a catastrophic backstory to deserve the life you want. You don’t need to break into a thousand pieces before you start putting yourself together. The truth?

You already know where you’re going.

You knew at birth.

But over lifetimes—generations even—you’ve been buried in layers of holy caca: the wild ups, the tragic downs, the subtle self-betrayals, the little white lies, the perjury of your own soul. And to unwind all of it?

To get back to that deep inner knowing?

It takes time! And it takes work.

And that’s the part people do not want to hear. I was one of 'em.

The Myth of “Big Enough” Pain

There’s a toxic hierarchy of suffering (actually, EVERYTHING) out there. A belief that unless you’ve survived hell, you should just be grateful for what you have.

But that’s not how growth works.

That’s not how personal transformation works.

That’s not how your soul operates.

Your dreams and desires aren’t some luxury you get to pursue only if you’ve suffered enough.

Transformation isn’t a prize—it’s a process.

And it's a beautifully messy, lifelong journey that we are curating with every breath, every movement, every thought.

It’s not about erasing the past. It’s about unwinding all the bullshit you’ve absorbed over the years—the beliefs, the expectations, the doubts, the SLUDGE of life—and remembering what was there before.

So you can be HERE. NOW.

Not looking backward.

Not waiting until.

Not suffocating as the air seeps out of what you THINK you don't deserve.

Why People Stay Stuck: The Science of Fear, Safety & Domestication

So if our souls already know where we’re going, why do we struggle so much to get there?

Because your brain is a scared little raccoon clinging to a steaming, hot bag of familiarity, hissing at anyone who dares suggest there’s a better way to live.

🔥 Your brain isn’t wired for growth—it’s wired for survival. 🔥

It doesn’t give a damn about your joy—it just wants to keep you alive.

Even if that means shackling you to a life that feels like stale office air and low-grade existential dread.

Seriously.

Your mind craves certainty, not happiness. Doesn’t matter if your current reality is a dumpster fire—at least it’s your dumpster fire. The unknown? Too risky.
Discomfort feels safer than risk. You’ve been programmed to believe that wanting more is selfish, unrealistic, or downright dangerous. So you stay put. Keep the peace. Swallow the dream. Occasionally, at least once, but likely often, choke on it.
Your identity is built on old programming. You’ve spent decades layering yourself in survival strategies—people-pleasing, perfectionism, numbing, overworking. Peeling that back? Feels wrong. Like showing up naked to Thanksgiving dinner...or being booked for a DUI at a Downtown Los Angeles jail without your Anne Taylor suit, or BCBG shoes, and reeking of your second 'next-to-cheapest bottle of Sauvignon Blanc' while at that afternoon's business event.

And if that wasn’t enough? Culture is actively working against you.

We live in a world that wants you to doubt yourself.

Stay busy.

Stay distracted.

Keep chasing validation.

Because the second you wake up and stop playing small, you become a problem.

You stop buying into the noise.

You stop feeding THEIR machine to build your own.

You stop needing the approval of a system that profits off your self-doubt.

And that is why this feels so damn hard. Not because you’re unworthy. Not because you’re incapable.

But because the whole world has been conditioning you to stay fvcking stuck.

Unwinding Your Life—The Subtle Shifts That Actually Work

On my podcast, Think Out Loud With Me, I recently sat down with Colleen Avis to talk about subtle shifts and the time it actually takes to change your life.

Here’s what hit me at a whole new level:

We already know the way. We just spend our lives burying it.

I remember my first journey to the Pyramids of Teotihuacan in Central Mexico so clearly. The voice in my head was relentless:

"You don’t belong here. These people are so far ahead of you. You are too far gone."

I sat in a tiny stall at The Dreaming House crying, plotting how I was going to flee and catch the first plane home out of Mexico City.

And yet—I stayed.

Because somewhere in that journey, I was welcomed into a new truth: personal transformation happens on MY terms.

That trip wasn’t about earning my way into growth. It wasn’t about proving I had suffered enough to deserve it. It was about remembering—even in the face of every lie I had absorbed—that I was already allowed to begin.

And that’s what this whole process is.

A remembering.

This moment? It’s alive with possibility.

But if you keep waiting for the right time? If you keep waiting for a disaster to push you—including some wild demise of our country that sends you packing, or a drama-packed onboarding into rehab?!?

Well, you’re going to miss it.

So, ya. WhoTF Cares?!?

WhoTF cares if your life hasn’t completely fallen apart?

WhoTF cares if you don’t have a headline-worthy trauma story?

WhoTF cares if your mind is screaming that it’s safer to stay small?

You know you’re meant for more.

I could care less about the size of bags of stanky raccoon shit you're clinging to!

Be #overit.

Go get curious about your origins and the language your soul speaks.

Start unwinding.

Start listening.

Start making the subtle shifts that you KNOW will lead to more.

Right now.

Go.

🫶